In this post, I will help you build your self-confidence. It is essential for your business success.

I had to get rid of an old habit of mine, something I used to struggle with for decades. So, I speak out of experience.

For many years I carefully picked out what I was wearing to the office to make sure I looked good in the eyes of my colleagues. I wanted to look like a real manager, nothing more, nothing less.

I used to beat myself up after meetings, running through everything I said (or forgot to say), worried that my coworkers might think I am not smart, brave, or talented enough.

For too long I was living in other people’s heads.

As a result, I used to judge myself harshly and felt uncomfortable in my obligate managerial outfit and position. Sometimes I felt apologetic for being who I am. I wanted to live according to my perception of other people’s standards. I felt inauthentic, often anxious, and judgmental. I thought I was OK, sort of, but not good enough, not likable enough, not smart enough, not business-like enough.

Well, it took me years to understand that other people’s opinion of me is none of my business. Simple as that. What also helped were Charles Handy’s books, especially The Empty Raincoat.

For about eight years, I was in charge of a medium-sized corporation’s communication, both external and internal, and was the company’s spokesperson. My performance was closely followed, even scrutinized by many inside the company and beyond. I had to stand in front of five hundred people (colleagues) at Annual Meetings, or fifty-plus journalists at a media event where I was representing our industry as a designated spokesman… and talk to them.

Some people in my audience probably thought I’m a fool, and others loved what I had to say. Many forgot me as soon as they left the room, others may remember me to this day. I think some hated me because I reminded them of their annoying brother-in-law or their neighbor’s dog. Others felt compassionate toward me because I reminded them of their favorite nephew. Some completely understood what I had to say, and others misinterpreted my words, probably even on purpose.

However, each of them got the exact same: me. I was doing my best and be the best I could be in that moment. But their opinions of me varied, and that had nothing to do with me – only with them.

Fact of life: No matter what I do some people will never like me.

In online business, we interact with many people: coworkers, customers, suppliers, business partners, etc. It is important to keep our integrity and self-confidence and do not care about what others think of us.

How to do that? Here are two simple tricks for you.

1. Remember where your strengths are. Knowing your core values is like using a stronger torch to get through the darkness. A duller light may get you where you want to go, but you’ll stumble more or go off track.

Doing core values work on myself has made a colossal impact on my life. I came to realize that compassion is my core value. Now, when I find myself questioning my decisions because I’m worried about disappointing my colleagues (a major trigger for me), I remind myself that compassion also means self-compassion. Passion is a prime ingredient when it comes to entrepreneurship, and passion and compassion are close etymologically and in meaning as well.

2. Learn to stay in your own business. Literally and figuratively. Keep away from other people’s business. What they do is their business. What your competitor thinks of you is his business. What time your coworker comes into work is her business. If the driver in the other car in front of you doesn’t go when the light turns green, it’s their business.

But: If you get angry with the other driver because you now must wait for an extra two minutes, that’s your business. If you get irritated because your coworker is late (again), that’s your business. If you are worried about what your competitor thinks of you – that is your business.

Stop worrying about what other people think. It will change your life.

You may think that self-confidence is not directly related to business, think again. I am ready to read your counterarguments (in your comments).